Medictating My Problems...

Hi All, 

I hope you have all had a good week!! Today is the day I give you a wee update on how I'm doing. Today I want to talk about the medication I am on and how it has effected me throughout the time I've been diagnosed with anxiety. 

Firstly, I want to let you all know that for the first time in months, I have had a reasonably good week. I haven't done much with regards to putting myself in situations where I feel anxious, but my anxiety has been at the lowest level I have felt in ages!! I still am having those daily niggles and woes but I have managed to keep them under control, which I feel is a big step in the right direction, but who knows what next week will throw at me.

As I said above I want to speak about the medication I have been taking to combat the anxiety. This time around I would like anyone who reads this to get in touch and let me know what methods or medication you use to combat your anxiety. So please do get in touch, either by commenting or emailing (my email is on the about me section at the side of the blog)

When I first went to the doctors to speak about what I was feeling, after months of turmoil, I instantly felt a release. It was like taking the top off a bottle of coke that had been shaken and it goes everywhere. I felt every possible feeling in the space of 5 minutes. After speaking with my doctor, I stated that I don't want a happy pill that I take everyday, I want to feel happy in my mind and in myself, and didn't want a pill to do so. So my doctor prescribed me medication solely to combat the anxiety, and also my lack of sleep. Mirtazipine was what they gave me. 

When I first started taking the Mirtazipine, I obviously started on the lower dosage (15mg.) For those of you who haven't had Mirtazipine, here is a description from Web MD -

"Mirtazapine is used to treat major episodes of depression.
It is an antidepressant. It belongs in the class of antidepressants known as noradrenergic and specific serotonergic antidepressants (NaSSA).
It is used to increase the levels of certain chemicals in the brain that are found at low levels if you have depression.
In general this drug is used in the treatment of major depression. This is a mood disorder, a condition in which you may feel low, have low self-esteem, and have lost the ability to enjoy activities you usually enjoy.
Benefits of being on this drug can include improving your mood and lower levels of anxiety"

To start, the drug completely knocked me out. I had to take it before bed to help send me into sleep and found the first few nights I took it I was having 12 hours sleep. I couldn't get out of bed the next few days because of the drowsiness and felt like a walking, talking zombie. It was recommended that the drug would take 2 weeks to kick in and start to work. After the first few weeks of using this med, it had no effect. I was back to very little sleep, still as anxious as ever and taking it felt like a waste of time. 

After a month, I went back to the doctor, she upped me to the next level 30mg. Again, as with the 15mg, the first few days were great, lots of sleep and after a week I felt like I could function. The dwindled again after 2 - 3 weeks of the medication, it wasn't having the desired effect, so another trip to the doctors was on...

Upon my third trip to evaluate the medication, we upped it to the highest dosage you can have in the UK (45mg) I think, from reading online some doctors in the USA have prescribed up to 90mg, but I'm not too sure so correct me if I'm wrong. As with the other two dosages, I had to wait to weeks for the drug to fully kick in.

Each night, I took it before bed, but the sedation effect was no longer there, so I wasn't getting any sleep and I wasn't feeling any better, so I was thinking what a waste of my time it was taking this. After doing some research online, I saw that taking the higher dosages of Mirtazipine no longer aided in sleep and in fact worsened the sleep process, causing me to stay up even longer. To be frank, I wish the doctors would have told me this, I was generally pissed off. We could have looked at other medication etc...

I've now been on the Mirtazapine (45mg) for two months and I still don't feel anything. I've saw online that some people have labelled this drug as the best thing since sliced bread, but I'm not too sure. I've had to undertake sleep behaviour management to combat the lack of sleep I'm getting and as for the anxious feelings, they are still prominent. I know I've had a good week this week, however, I still do feel that I can be pulled right back into the reality of my situation at any point.

As I've said above, I want to hear what you do to combat your anxiety? Are you on medication? Have you avoided medication and use your own techniques? Or have you come across something online that has worked wonders? Let me know as I'm sure my readers, and myself, would love to hear!!

A.R Wilson x